As I sit here and write this post we are definitely entering into fall. The color of the leaves and the nip in the wind tell one story but the temperatures are fighting every step of the way. So that leads me to the purpose of this post – what season are you in and are you fighting going into the season?
This past two years I have struggled going into my new season. You see, I no longer have little kids at home anymore. Mine are 23 and 19. Both of my adult children have busy schedules and no long require much from me except the occasional phone call to say, “Hey Mom, I am thinking about….” They are rarely home for food, they don’t require help with their homework, they don’t need a ride anywhere. All of this has left me feeling a little adrift!
Therefore, I have been trying to hang up my ON-CALL DOMESTIC FACILITATOR hat and it has been tough. For the past 23 years I have been conditioned to be on-call 24 hours a day. Parents…YOU know what I am talking about. You are so used to “emergencies” and “need to’s” that come up you struggle scheduling things because you must be ready for the change in plans.
Fast forward to about 60 days ago I made the decision to work on hanging up my “ON-CALL” hat. That does not mean I am not there for my peeps. It just means that I don’t have to be outward focused and instead can be inward focused on what I want to accomplish. Listen, I have trained those boys to be independent, self-sufficient and hard working. I cut the chord a long time ago but mentally it has been a struggle to put ME first at ALL times. It has been over 23 years since it has been about me. What I have learned over the 60 days has been:
1. It is difficult to be a woman when you have been a mom for quite a while.
2. The biggest person who resisted in all of this was ME. Why? I didn’t want anyone to think I did not love them. PLEASE!!! My peeps know better!
3. I actually said No, I am busy, or I cannot right now, less times in reality than what I imagined it was going to be. Fear can really paint a bleak picture and hold you back if you give in.
It took me 60 days to work through this and change my thinking and behaviors toward the old role and moved into my new role. I knew I needed to accept my new season when I was frustrated and felt like I was in limbo everyday. So I will wrap this up and ask you, what season are you in? Are you fighting it or choosing to enjoy what you have accomplished and the gift you have been given – HERE & NOW?